[‘FAST X’ Review] Dante’s Inferno

Courtney Howard // Film Critic

FAST X

Rated PG-13, 141 min.
Director: Louis Leterrier
Cast: Vin Diesel, Jason Momoa, John Cena, Jason Statham, Sung Kang, Brie Larson, Charlize Theron, Michelle Rodriguez, Ludacris, Tyrese Gibson, Nathalie Emmanuel, Alan Ritchson, Jordana Brewster, Leo Abelo Perry and Rita Moreno

After outrunning a submarine in sub-zero conditions in THE FATE OF THE FURIOUS and launching into space in FAST 9, there’s really no limit to what the FAST franchise can do with the help of some generous CGI. We’ve gone on a double-decade-spanning journey with Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) and his makeshift family of outlaws, sitting shotgun with them on the bumpiest of roads (FAST AND FURIOUS) and through the toughest of times (losing star Paul Walker to a car crash, which made his character Brian O’Conner’s send-off in FURIOUS 7 especially poignant). And now the end of the road is closing in on the gang in director Louis Leterrier’s FAST X, the first of a two – possibly three – part finale.

That finale is not a moment too soon, as the tread is fast wearing off these tires. While Jason Momoa’s vengeance-fueled conductor of chaos gives the picture the NOS boost it needs, it’s barely enough to win the race. It provides very little stakes to get invested in, specifically when it comes to the emotional crux. Insulting, baffling and maddening creative choices proliferate this entry, in addition to wrecking its legacy with the pothole-sized problems fans of the series are forced to swerve around. Honestly, it’s a surprise Dom doesn’t actually jump a shark during the plodding, padded run time.

Similar to many of its predecessors in the series, the remedial plot is beside the point in contrast to the stunt-riffic spectacle. Dom and company think they’re set for life now acting as an extension of The Agency, a top secret government branch. Roman (Tyrese Gibson) is taking the lead on an operation in Rome, bringing along Ramsey (Nathalie Emmanuel), Tej (Chris ‘Ludacris’ Bridges) and Han (Sung Kang). However, after Cipher (Charlize Theron) visits Dom’s doorstep warning him of a war coming, we learn it’s a set-up by Dante Reyes (Momoa), the unhinged son of the Brazilian billionaire baddie from FAST 5 whose death Dom and Brian had a hand in. He’s out for revenge and won’t stop until everyone Dom loves is wiped out of existence – specifically, since the overarching theme is centered on fathers and sons, Dom’s young son, Little B (Leo Abelo Perry).

Given the inciting incident, this chapter has a big “Brian (O’Conner) Problem” in that his presence and purpose is detrimentally missing. It goes unaddressed, but it doesn’t fly that Mia (Jordana Brewster) – a mother herself – shows up for her blood-relatives’ BBQ celebrating family with her grandma (Rita Moreno), brothers and young nephew there, yet leaves Brian and their kid behind off-screen. That Dante, who is on the warpath, covering every skid mark left in the wake of his father’s death, wouldn’t seek out Brian to torture in the same way he does Dom is absolutely preposterous. Dom mentions “he’s safe,” but unless he’s in a bunker, Brian’s not that good at hiding from “The God’s Eye.” Later, when a desperate Dom faces a dangerous quandary, built up as an all-timer, it’s ridiculous that he doesn’t call in his bestie Brian for reinforcement.

The senseless creative choices don’t stop there. Han is dosed with drugs and it’s played for one flat gag that lasts under 10 seconds. Yet the ludicrously-concocted fight Tej and Roman have during that same sequence – one that serves to test our patience – far outlasts Han’s bad high. It’s a tangible low for the franchise. Not soon thereafter, Letty and Cipher’s slug-it-out reunion in the sick bay fails to properly utilize all its moving parts, like the dangerous computer-operated surgical laser device: Instead of being on for only 5 seconds, it could’ve been going the entire time, providing an added layer of challenge in the pair’s smack-down.

Screenwriters Dan Mazeau and Justin Lin rely on lazy conveniences time and time again, letting them guide not only the plot, but also anything that resembles poignancy. We’ve been conditioned to recognize that death doesn’t mean much for characters in this series – maybe even less than in Marvel movies. Even so, the sacrifice one character makes late in the film carries little to no weight. The FAST filmmakers have brought back a character when it made sense (Han), but this time, it’s totally unwarranted and devalues another’s arc.

The lack of cell phones and all other forms of communication to Dom’s splinter team in Rome is explained long after audiences incredulously ask, “How the heck are these folks absolutely unreachable in the year 2023?!” Even then, with a multitude of ways to reach others within their vicinity, Dom and the always-omnipotent (until they’re conveniently not) The Agency can’t figure out a way to do so in time. If they did, we wouldn’t get to see Dom use his car as a fire shield for innocent bystanders in a cafe, after the Death Star bomb bounces into a gas pump causing a massive explosion. 

Blessedly there is the expected, wonderfully-welcomed amount of “so dumb, it’s delicious” in this bountiful buffet. The exposition dump tasked to The Agency’s boss Aimes (Alan Ritchson) is filled with winking self-aware humor, sounding like a glorious greatest hits mashup of FAST film reviews throughout the years. Its 3rd act spectacle gives way to a brawny muscle car that’s got cannons rigged its sides as if it’s some kind of proto-Mad Max vehicle. Dom lifts a car off its side with his bare hands. He drives his own car down the side of a dam with a fiery explosion on his tail. He also ponderously stares into the sunset after destruction has befallen his crew, as an auto-tuned singer gives voice to a devastated Dom’s inner monologue: “The world has fallen.” The music supervisor for LOVE IS BLIND would be proud.

Performances range from deliriously diabolical (Momoa) to forced (mostly everyone else). Many in the overstuffed cast (most notably Oscar-winner Larson and any one of her multiple scene partners) talk and monologue at each other, rushing through their lines as if their paychecks won’t clear before they can finish their scenes. Ritchson was clearly chosen for his beefy musculature and towering stature, and not his acting chops, as his delivery is as dead as roadkill. The lightning-fast refashioning of John Cena’s formerly-embittered-brother-turned-loveable-goof does wonders, giving the film its cute-but-cloying comic relief paired with pint-sized Perry’s precocious pluck. Momoa’s electric, eccentric villain is a full-color mimeograph of Nicholson’s Joker turned loose in a Joel Schumacher film – noticeably channeling the maniac’s mayhem in an indelible scene involving his own deceased henchmen, Scotch Tape and nail polish. Momoa’s work is delightfully unfettered in his snarky quipping and bombastic showmanship.

Still, all of its annoyances amount to a poor, deflating result. With many miles left to go (even more if Diesel gets his way to elongate it into three parts), this last stretch should be a victory lap. Yet this beginning of the end might leave many of its fans more furious than anything.

Grade: 2 out of 5

FAST X opens in theaters on May 19.