Courtney Howard // Film Critic
MEG 2: THE TRENCH
Rated PG-13, 1 hour and 56 minutes
Directed by: Ben Wheatley
Starring: Jason Statham, Cliff Curtis, Shuya Sophia Cai, Jing Wu, Sienna Guillory, Skyler Samuels, Melissanthi Mahut, Page Kennedy, Sergio Peris-Mencheta, Whoopie Van Raam, Kiran Sonia Sawar
Early in MEG 2: THE TRENCH, a scientist’s head explodes when her scuba helmet shatters underwater. I found myself incredibly jealous of this fictional woman, since she was able to exit this movie long before the mind-numbingly dull, frustrating and convoluted shenanigans kicked in. Director Ben Wheatley’s stab at a bigger, brawnier creature feature fails in almost every way imaginable – and even in unimaginable ones too – dawdling with the humans rather than showcasing the beasts lurking beneath the surface. It’s not just that this is an unremarkable picture. It also carelessly fritters away the well-balanced entertainment value and ecological sentiments crafted by its predecessor. With very little tension or rousing thrills, and nary a good scare in sight, this is a subpar sequel.
One of the benefits of the original MEG movie is that it kept its plot lean and clean: expert diver Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham) comes into contact with a mega-shark and is recruited into a team of experts to defeat it. Yet in this second chapter of Jonas’ ongoing exploits, returning screenwriters Jon and Erich Hoeber and Dean Georgaris (adapting Steve Alten’s novel “The Trench”) bend over backwards to over-complicate matters with a dreadfully rote, reductive tale involving malevolent deep sea mining and underhanded business dealings rather than focusing on the monsters inhabiting and inevitably escaping the Trench again. They lean further into its JURASSIC PARK inspiration, blatant cribbing from it, but in doing so, demonstrate their lack of understanding of what made that film satiating and successful.
Jonas, now an eco-vigilante taking down criminals with Mac (Cliff Curtis) and Rigas (Melissanthi Mahut) at his side, is called upon once again by China’s Oceanic Institute for help. Since the death of Zhang (Winston Chao) in the first film, it’s been run by his son Jiuming (Jing Wu), who’s also taken on the familial responsibility of raising his recently deceased sister Suyin’s (Bingbing Li) precocious-but-not-precocious-enough 14-year-old daughter Meiying (Shuya Sophia Cai). He, along with director of the institute Hilary Driscoll (Sienna Guillory), have a young megalodon in their possession, raised in captivity to study and train. However, on the eve of Jiuming and Jonas’ research dive into the Mariana Trench with their elite team, the mini-Meg very easily busts out of the facility and follows them into the unknown underworld. There they find more Megs, a menacingly scarred behemoth, a giant squid and prehistoric “Snappers,” alligator-sized dinos.
But the hijinks don’t necessarily ensue once the pack of predators leave their haven. The consequences of that take another hour to manifest – and that time spent away from them is a slog. The filmmakers bore us to death with the discovery of a trench floor mining base, run by Montes (Sergio Peris-Mencheta), a shifty fellow whose reunion with Jonas reignites their rivalry. Survivalist sequences that have the team walking the trench floor are ripped off from UNDERWATER, but hold no thrills since we don’t care about the characters who die, two of whom (played by Whoopie Van Raam and Kiran Sonia Sawar) go unnamed until their death. The bombastic overtone of the scene where Jonas free-dives is rendered moot as it insults our intelligence, rather than merely stretching believability. And that’s just one of a handful of instances that grind down the audience’s good graces. Everything set on the Mana-One station also serves to exasperate, as it’s mostly people shouting at monitors or attempting to escape from invading mercenaries in a non-innovative, non-interesting manner.
Ropey visual effects (akin to a SyFy original movie) prevail with little production value in these characters’ dry and wet environments. High-tech gadgets – like the exo-suits, resembling slimmed down versions of those in EDGE OF TOMORROW, and the submersibles – are sleek and look like they swallowed most of this film’s budget. Action-driven spectacle is horribly conceived and constructed. The punches don’t land (literally and figuratively in the sloppy edit) and the stunt choreography underwhelms.
The populist “turn your brain off” argument holds no water when applied here. Our brains, even in a borderline comatose stasis, would find the proceedings disappointing and disheartening. There’s no underlying commentary whatsoever, not on man’s hubris in scientific exploration, nor on the gross nature of sequel-building. It’s all superficial and toothless. Narrative logistics barely add up and elicit a big “who cares” reaction when they do. Things just transpire without much rhyme or reason and we’re forced to accept it. Character development is piss poor, especially egregious when it comes to Jiuming’s discoveries and Hilary’s hidden machinations. Relationships between the characters – like Jonas and Meiying, as well as Jonas and Jiuming – aren’t properly fleshed out and don’t hold a candle to THE MEG’s central, notably feminist dynamic between Jonas and Suyin.
Blessedly, there are a few highlights. A parrot says, “bullshit” after it hears Jonas lie. Statham, armed with exploding javelins, taunts the multiple megs on a jet ski. The filmmakers use DJ (Page Kennedy) to better advantage this time around, allowing him to get in on the action. Though it could’ve been orchestrated so much better than the throwaway joke it turns into, his pepper spray gag gifts us with solid laughs. Late in the 3rd act, the camera takes the POV from inside a Meg’s mouth as it gobbles frightened tourists. These 30 seconds make for a convincing argument that Wheatley actually understood the assignment, or at least some of it.
As the legend goes, when Michael Caine was asked why he took his role in JAWS: THE REVENGE, he said he had a great holiday in the Bahamas and that the paycheck built him a “terrific” home. I can only hope Wheatley got his Great Holiday in Thailand and Terrific Home Money from his participation in this turgid giant shark movie.
But we deserve better than this bloated, rotting cinematic carcass.
Grade: 1 out of 5
MEG 2: THE TRENCH opens in theaters on August 4.
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