Preston Barta // Features Editor
YOU HURT MY FEELINGS
Rated R, 93 min.
Director: Nicole Holofcener
Cast: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Tobias Menzies, Michaela Watkins, Arian Moayed, Owen Teague, Amber Tamblyn, David Cross, Zach Cherry and Jeannie Berlin
Now playing in select theaters and available on VOD.
Not far off from the same level of thoughtfulness as Celine Song’s Past Lives is Nicole Holofcener’s You Hurt My Feelings. Rather than love observed across time, it’s a snapshot of love with a history that can be felt. It’s not even about anything that big. More or less, it’s an excellent film about people talking to each other (or withholding certain truths so as not to hurt one another’s feelings). It’s a small, quiet and super-effective drama.Â
Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Tobias Menzies (The Crown) portray Beth and Don, a couple in a longstanding marriage. Beth’s a novelist and Don’s a therapist. They’ve shown nothing but support toward each other their whole being together… until Beth overhears her husband telling a friend that he actually thinks her new novel is terrible. Her entire view of him is upended, and the two try to work their way back toward each other following this uncomfortable situation.
Like Past Lives, You Hurt My Feelings makes massive splashes in its details. Both films are advocates of subtlety and characters with specificity that rings universal. Who hasn’t had uncomfortable encounters with their loved ones? Who hasn’t been asked their opinion about something the other did or is wearing? How often did you say you felt one way when you felt another? Is it OK to say these white lies to get by and avoid confrontation, or should we all get more honest with each other and feelings be damned?Â
That’s You Hurt My Feelings in a nutshell. It’s a string of conversations that asks profound questions about honesty. It not only examines this through the central relationship but also the relationship the couple has with their son (Owen Teague), friends, clients and extended family.Â
Take, for instance, a scene when Don hears one of his patients call him an idiot when they thought their call had ended. It causes Don to question the value he offers as a therapist and the honesty he may hold back from his patients. Beth questions the same kind of thing with her sister (a hilarious Michaela Watkins of Werewolves Within) and mother (Jeannie Berlin).
One little event opens everyone’s eyes and brings about even more thoughtful, relatable conversations about failure and accepting when you may not be good at the thing you’re passionate about. That’s not to say you should give up on those things, but maybe approach them with realistic goals and a willingness to listen and go through temporary unpleasantries.
You Hurt My Feelings seamlessly combines humor with wisdom. It features strong performances and is a delightful, compelling experience. Feel everything it has to offer because the rewards are great!
Grade: A
