Hello, there! My name is Preston Barta, and I am the features editor of Fresh Fiction and senior film critic at the Denton Record-Chronicle. My cinematic love story began where I was born: off planet on the isolated desert world of the Jakku system. It's there I passed the time scavenging for loose parts with my good friend Rey. One day I found an old film projector and a dusty reel of the 1975 film JAWS. It rocked my world so much that I left my kinfolk in the rearview (I so miss their morning cups of green milk) to pursue my dreams of writing about film. It wasn't long until I met two gents who said they would give me a lift. I can't recall their names, but one was an older man who liked to point a lot and the other was a tall, hairy fella. They got me as far as one of Jupiter's moons where we crossed paths with the U.S.S. Enterprise. Some pointy-eared bastard said I was clear to come aboard. He saw that I was clutching my beloved shark movie and invited me to the "moving pictures room" where he was screening the 1993 film JURASSIC PARK to his crew. He said my life would be much more prosperous if I were familiar with more work by the god named Steven Spielberg. From there, my love for cinema blossomed. Once we reached planet Earth, everything changed. I found the small town of Denton, TX, and was welcomed into the Barta family. They showed me the writings of local film critic Boo Allen. He became my hero and caused me to chase a degree in film and journalism. After my studies at graduate of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, I met some film critics who showed me the ropes and got me into my first press screening: 2011's THE GREEN LANTERN. Don't worry; I recovered just fine. MAD MAX: FURY ROAD was only four years away.
Connor Bynum // Film Critic
ARCHER: DANGER ISLAND – “DIFFERENT MODES OF PREPARING THE FRUIT”
Season 9, Ep. 3
aired on FXX on May 9
The third episode of ARCHER saw less action than the one before, but focused much more on the comedic aspect of the show, in what is easily the best episode thus far in DANGER ISLAND.
Once again picking up directly where last week left off, this episode centers in on the aftermath of Archer destroying nearly every business on the beachfront as well as Lucy Goosey in his failed attempt at a smooth landing. There are excellent opportunities for laughs in such a setup including subtle details like all the locals giving Archer death stares as he casually strolls by their demolished places of business. But it’s not just the local shopkeepers who are upset by the destruction.
Malory is especially furious with her son as the most important aspect of her business (Lucy Goosey) no longer has wings. She then assigns Sterling to come up with the means to repair the plane by whatever means necessary. While mulling over ideas on how to make money Archer quickly shoots down Pam’s idea to re-open their failed business, “Chinchilladas,” which is exactly as gross as it sounds. After a hilarious flashback featuring Bird wearing a chef suit and Archer trying to give out coupons while wearing a giant Chinchilla costume, Pam mentions that she overheard Lana and Fuchs talking about a mysterious idol on the island that is, “Definitely not a gold monkey”.
The dynamic between Lana and Fuchs is developing quite nicely. If before there were only hints at Fuch’s motivations for traveling to Danger Island, his true intentions are now crystal clear. Fuchs convinces Lana to help him find the idol after promising his home country of Germany will destroy France as an act of revenge for her people. And if it wasn’t painfully obvious by now, Fuchs is absolutely a Nazi.
Charlotte has apparently accepted Malory’s proposal to work as a prostitute for her hotel, but honestly it shouldn’t be that much of a surprise given her character’s promiscuous behavior in previous seasons. After discovering Fuchs’ intentions to go after the idol, Malory enlists Charlotte to seduce him and find out its location in the process. However, in an interesting turn of events, Malory ends up saving Charlotte from being date raped as she is entirely too drunk by the end of the night to even stay awake. It’s a particularly sweet move on Malory’s part as she never fails to show her maternal instincts when all is said and done.
Archer, Pam, and Bird decide to break into Fuchs’ cottage on the island in search for a map to the idol but, in classic ARCHER fashion, massively fail at any attempt of discretion. They barely escape detection from the disgruntled German, but not before crudely drawing a copy of the map.
ARCHER is absolutely at its best when it focuses its attention on clever writing and sight gags. The fourth wall is broken numerous times as the characters throw subtle reminders that they are aware that they are in the past. Archer tells Pam that the idiom she just used, “isn’t a thing yet,” Lana implies that Japan might want to invest in the island on the off chance that they decide to attack the United States, and there’s a discussion about how 1,000 Francs is only considered a lot of money if one also considers $35 to be a lot of money. With only six episodes remaining, I must say that I am eager to see what absurdity lies ahead on DANGER ISLAND.
A preview for next week’s episode: